You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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