Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
