He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
