My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
