I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
