Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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