I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
