apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
