My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
