In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
