the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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