I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
