I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
