I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize