He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize