why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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