No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
