We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
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Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
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Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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