When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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