She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
