Can i not drive my cunt home
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I could fuck to npr.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
