what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
