I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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