I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
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