my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
