How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Randomize
