I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
