If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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