My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Randomize