you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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