you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
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The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
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Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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