I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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