Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
You have to summon your inner elephant
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
