is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
