Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
