hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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