hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
