"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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