I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize