Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Randomize
