24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
We were destined to go to rehab together
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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