I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I just want nice things and good sex
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
