sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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