Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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