She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
