Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Small penises have feelings too.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
