I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
And then my night got REAL pukey
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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