It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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