Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
