She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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