No, you can still breathe under the balls.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
