he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
