Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
