Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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