You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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