When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
