Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
