I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
i've created a new STD.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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