you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
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