Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Randomize
