I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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