You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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